The most likely reason may be that you are more relaxed when you stimulate yourself than when your partner is stimulating you. Moreover your boy friend may not know the appropriate stimulatory method suitable to you. During sex if you are concerned that you may be found out or if you two are in a hurry and do not have enough privacy you will not be able to get fully involved in the act. Any distractions will slow down the pace of arousal. A man can get aroused sexually and reach its peak faster than a woman. Nature has built us that way.
Get your wife examined by the Gynaecologist. If episiotomy has been performed during delivery and if the wound has not healed adequately it may cause pain. An Episiotomy is a surgical incision through the Perineum (the region between the lower margin of the vulva and Anus) to enlarge the vaginal passage to assist child birth. Apart from this any problems in your wife’s genital/reproductive organs can cause the pain. If she does not lubricate or if her vaginal secretions are reduced due to any cause, the dryness can result in pain. Your Premature Ejaculation can either be due to physical causes or psychological causes. Depending upon the cause either Pharmacotherapy (treatment with medicines) or Sex Therapy can be undertaken. Consult a Sexologist in person.
Probably your coital posture and technique are the cause. Learn by trial and error the correct angle of penetration and the coital posture which facilitates that easy penetration. The second possibility is that you may be clenching reflexly your vaginal muscles due to apprehension. If that is the case learn Kegel’s exercises.
All that a man requires for a satisfactory sex life is a two inch or five centimetre long penis that too on erection. The vagina is a potential space, meaning it can fit over any thick/thinness. As long as you do not harbour any genital or urinary infection and if she is willing it is ok. Also you should not be carrying Hepatitis B and HIV organisms in your system. These can be passed on to her as these organisms can travel with semen. More over during (Menstrual Bleeding) the woman’s genital tract is raw and hence she has a higher risk during that period.
No man’s penis will be straight at 90 degrees angle. There will be some curvature for everyone. As long as there is no pain on erection you need not worry. However in a condition called “Peyronie’s Disease” there will be severe curvature of the erect penis making it very difficult to penetrate the vagina. This may or may not be accompanied by pain. In this condition there will be fibrous plaques in the penile tissues. This condition requires medical /surgical intervention. I suggest that you consult your doctor if
The pain experienced by you may be due to any one of the following causes: Excessive friction to the vagina, powerful contractions of the uterus (due to deficiency of the female hormone Oestrogen) and spasm of the abdominal muscles. Yes, you need to consult a doctor.
If your son is otherwise healthy then you need not worry unduly. The genital development will occur at different paces for different individuals, even if they are siblings. However it is advisable to get your son examined by a doctor.
I have to disappoint you. There are no ISI (Indian Standards Institute) standards for intercourse duration for Indians be they South or North Indians. If you are able to have sex at least once a day then you are lucky. For many men performing twice in a week itself is a great feat. Your problem is “Premature Ejaculation”. This can be caused by Physical causes or Psychological causes or a combination of both. The management depends on the cause(s). Consult a Sexologist in person.
Sexual Dysfunctions are disorders and not diseases. Hence the word “Manageable” is more appropriate than “Cure”. The word cure should be used with reference to diseases Eg: Typhoid, Tuberculosis etc. Rest assured that practically all sexual dysfunctions can be managed one way or the other. If you think you have an erection problem I suggest that you consult a Sexologist in person.
You have not mentioned the details of your sperm morphology (Structure). The structure of the sperms also have to be healthy. Your wife’s uterine inner lining (endometrium) health and the presence or absence of Antisperm antibodies to sperms etc have also to be assessed. Assuming that everything is normal and healthy we have to think of a condition known as “Idiopathic Infertility”. In this condition we may not able to find out the precise cause of infertility and all lab tests will be within the normal range. Sometimes the pregnancy may occur later in life, after 5 to 10 years also. Hence do not lose hope. Follow your doctor’s advice.