“You are a beast obsessed with sex.  You have no interest in sitting and talking to me. You men can think of nothing but sex,” accused Kavitha, when her husband made overtures for sex.

It is not true that every man has more sex drive than a woman, but it does seem to have gotten the lion’s share. Twice as many men masturbate frequently. They think about sex more. According to a survey, 54 per cent of men think about sex every day and that too several times. While two-thirds of women say they think about sex only a few times a month or at the most, a few times a week.

Research has shown the hormone testosterone greatly affects sex drive in both men and women. Some believe the reason why men experience more desire than women is that men have 10 to 20 times more testosterone than women. For persons with low testosterone, factors like stress, lack of time and daily distractions will come in the way of a good sex drive.

The discrepancy between sex drives mars millions of marriages. It eats away long-term relationships, robs us of feelings of attractiveness and leads us to assume that the “fizz” is gone out of a bond.

We need to understand that sex drive is like an appetite, like hunger or thirst. It tends to establish its own level and stay there defining one’s sexuality. It is thrown off track only by changes like alcoholism, depression, side-effects of medication or the onset of illness like diabetes, Parkinsons or andropause etc.

Pointer to those with high sex drive:

  • Be romantic while asking for sex.
  • Initiate sex out of love, not habit.
  • Learn to seduce.
  • Respect your partner’s moods.